Richie Byrne

The Gorey 3 Day Chariot Race !!

2011-04-24T21:07:00.000+01:00

Holy Jeebus on a rocket powered Jet Ski !! I have seen a few road races in my time, even did a couple back in the olden days. I have always been fascinated by it and respected its protagonists. I firmly believe that the future of Cross Country racing in Ireland is linked to the presence of Mountainbikers in all Road Races, especially the Iconic ones like the Gorey 3 Day and the RAS.
They ( the vast majority of competitive cyclists) have to see us raising our standards beside theirs or they will never see us as some sort of poor cousin. We have to get the same structure and glamour that the road enjoys. We cannot expect them to see our ways till we see theres.
Sure there have always been Mountainbikers dabbling in the Road..some of them have even defected to the road entirely but and I mean this with the greatest respect they were never really ours to begin with.
So fine weather saw my self and the First Ladies of EPICmtb, Carol,Sophie and Caroline head South to Gorey for Round 3 of the race.
The lads were looking fit and fast in their new club gear and Mick Dardis, Team Manager had them all ready to go.

So we hung around for Iron Horse Doris who has late coming to the pre race briefing because he was eating half a pig for Lunch in Goreys version of the Mongolian BBQ

Check it out , BlueSteel, Cobra and Excaliber the look of Champions

Heres the EPIC " truck"
and a big thanks to Jer Price of Grange Motors and The South Central Roundwood Brotherhood and to Stewart Carr king of Laragh/Disneyland Glendalough !

Heres the two Eurocycles lads in fine form !

Lonely old Coyner just back from stalking Buggsy up in the mountains, you look much better in that outfit anyway !

Sam Darcy - Mayor of Courtown and The MAN of the Gorey, he invented it, runs it, blows the whistle, kisses the girls !

Now that just looks fast way too fast..can you spot The Mort !

Doctor Who had a Tardis..EPICmtb has the Dardis !! Legend

Alfie leading the bunch on lap 3

Coyner and Alfie sandwich the yellow jersey man !!

Matt Adair turns on the Turbo after a puncture !

Max and Doris heading to the finish with Alfie just behind..Doris came all the way back from a puncture and finished well up there !

Thats all the Server will let me attach..great race, the lads were a credit to us all..
Only one more to go tomorrow, best of luck

Once upon another time on 3 Rock

2011-01-18T17:54:00.000Z

Now, 3 Rock is a vast , abused ancient mountain ground down over millions of years and recently raped and mulitated by skanger MXers and millions of wobbily arsed Bimblies ( Weekend hillwalking types that look like a cross between Father Jack, Bear Grylls and Alan Titchmarsh ).
Its great in the Summer and the icy depths of Winter but the minute the Schlomp is released, it turns in to an pockmarked landscape like the Somme.
But the place has fabulous vistas and looks out on to the Riviera of Dublin !!

I've always thought of 3 Rock as the poor cousin of Glendo and Djouce, but it has some major and minor gems. Which are about to be descended on in droves , when the official Ticknock Trails open.
The one good thing about it , is we won't have to suffer from the " Mountainbiking is not allowed up here brigade !!" though one of them was out in " force " well force is too strong a word, probably some old biddy placing sticks and rocks in the way on some of the trails.
But you have to wonder at the mentality of these creatures.
I wonder how long it will take before one of them strings piano wire across a trail.
Anyway..when I started in the late 80's biking ( i had been hillrunning before that) all the trails were singletrack.
As time went on we got the blame for widening the trails you see up there now.
Which is total unadulterated bollocks.
When was the last time you saw MTBers ride up anything other than in single file and never enmasse on the way down either , except under very controlled circumstances in the occasional race.
We never spread ourselves across the mountainside chatting and stomping, regardless of fit ness or powerfat layer, we tend to focus on the hardest part of a track and stay out of the mud.
The Bimblies tend to wander around in enormous packs , sometimes aimlessly orbiting a clump of sedge or piece of granite in confusion.

but while i was up on 3 Rock today , I couldn't help noticing just how badly its been walked on and trodden. The only mtb tracks I saw were ours..but footprints..there were millions !
and spread out all over the place.
I don't have any problem with this, everybodys entitled to use the place, we all own it and we should all be able to appreciate it in our own way.
Just don't blame me and my friends for this.

Kanchenjunga, Dublin 18

2010-12-07T16:04:00.000Z

Some of us are born for adventure, others are born to read about it and for some of us even going to the shops is an adventure. I had a meeting with some film makers in Ticknock and spun up to meet them from Camp Byrne on Pottery Road, beside the giant Pfizer factory, where I have to go every day to get tested !!
Here I am after being left out overnight to see if I freeze like normal humans !! I had to grow the Guns back real fast afterwards !

Anyway after a high protein breakfast and a thawing I rode up to Ticknock, A Recreational Forest, but only if you are middle aged, middle Class , drive a Hairdressers Hummer ( an X5 ) and you're name cannot be translated as Gaelge !!
Look at the Superbud..throw out those archaic Trances, Anthems, Stuntcunters and Crappandales..shes the baby for this Country !!!

Lucky for the Squirrels , Alfie arrived and off we went..the film crew had obviously not made it as they never appeared !! A crazy old lady with a dog congratulated me on getting up the road on me bike !!

Look..some Doozers are building a trail up there..I hope it goes up 3 Rock, I mean why build a down trail beside the best descent in Dublin !! ?

So we got to the top and discovered that 3 Rock had been replaced by the Yukon or Baffin Island !!

then Alfie saw something incredible !!!

The freakin Abominable freakin Snowman !! WTF !!!

Then I got gnarly on 3 rocks ass !!!

and away we went down the Boneshaker

Look out !!!

The next bit after the Boulders was mental..the track just disparreared and we had the criac trying not to ride over the Gorse bushes, but once we found the trail off we went ! After we hit the sharp up but and dived off the top ..I had the biggest crash of my life..I couldn't make the turn and shot over the bars headfirst and landed on my back upside down in a snowdrft with the Alfie lad laughing his bollocks off !!
that was it and some craic on the bends back to the road !!
mental spin, over and done in an hour !! Some craic though !!

Commute or Die !! or worse the death of an IPOD !!

2010-12-06T21:29:00.001Z

Day 1 -
So its freakin minus 90 and i have to pick the Focus Superbud team or the Felt 1.4 Road bike, the choice was obvious Mr Focus Superbud with his 2.4 Maxxis Crossmarks, in these conditions the only game in town !!!
The first few meters..very very icy, as cold as a Witches Tit or the inside of a penquins arse..yes that cold. It was dawn as I headed out of the relative safety of Camp Byrne and rode along the road ..

Day 1.2
After what seemed like an eternity of red lights I reached Camp 1 Stillorgan and the wind as usual was blowing in my face..but thankfully my ears had warmed up . Now you're probably thinking, why not wear a hat under my helmet or one of those peculiar looking skullcaps.
No way !!! I'd sooner lose my ears to frostbite than look like some sort of Cycling saucebottle..if I was run over wearing one of those my family wouldn't recognise me, they'd have to identify me by my tats, scars and my six pack !

Day 1.666

Holy jeebus, St Peters road was just one long ribbon of cars filled with frustrated drivers..and having forgotten my overshoes, my toes were screaming in my shoes. You would think fancy Shimano racing shoes would e warm, though I suppose looking like a Zebra, these ones are hardly going to endure the cold too well.

Day 1.9

Finally made it to Eurocycles HQ after successfully negotiating an empty Walkinstown Roundabout and the 2 million cars on the bit after it !!

Day 1.91

So 6.00pm came and I was dreading the return Journey..the Cold had killed my beloved IPOD..so it was going to be me, my thoughts and the hum and crunch of car tyres all the way home. but once I got past the ten million cars on the bit between Longmile and Walkinstown..it wasn't that bad. I'd found my overshoes in my gear in work and my toes were toasty.

Day 1.92

Everything was cool..no crazy , filthy nasty arsed Taxi drivers or cross eyed ladies with the giant D&G sunglasses !! the road was smooth with just a thin layer of water on the road..

Day 1.93

All the lights were green till I got to Stillorgan !

Day 1.94

Deansgrange..the very name conjours images of safety, with our 2 lidls, a Firestation , a famous Pub and a Newsagents..
Holy sweet jesus biscuits..out of the Blue i found myself on the Eigerwand..
the Bicycle lane along the river had turned into an icy hell , massive seracs leered at me from the GAA pitch , the river was like a dirty gash in the landscape and all of a sudden I was going sideways across what i can only describe as a frickin Glacier..i could see it shining 10 feet either side of me as I faced certain death in the river 6 feet below..somehow the Focus Superbud took over and I was travelling in the right direction and the terror was over ..

Day 1.95

Across the Bridge into Mackintosh Park and I was in some sort of white hell..everthing , even the neighbours dogs were frozen to the ground..but I made it home safely and had my dnner

Unlike Eskimoes , Mountainbikers have only one word for Snow..SNOW!!

2010-11-28T17:59:00.000Z

Snow is not a Mountainbikers friend..too little creates SMUD..too much and you just have to stay in bed. On rare occasions you get a perfect day , like today..
We headed up from lambe Doyles Pub and with only a couple of rear wheel spins..made it in to the forest..

Heres Luke, MTB Philantropist, Nearly National Champion, Hair by L'Oreal , the race face is on while Orla looks on in horror, thinking.." OMG an out of control fat guy !!"

if I only had this lads shoulders..he's the only one at the Station that can carry two women out of a burning building..

Heres JJ out looking for the Golf course !

ok..after we went up the WW , we headed down to the old WW and over to 3 Rock, down t connector and RnR..finished off by a slidder across Aggro and down the Boneshaker..
fantastic spin, great day

Stay young forever with the Felt Sector 24

2010-11-09T22:15:00.000Z

Now..what is it about bikes that makes us love them more than cars or TV sets. I'd be surprised if anybody reading this can't remember their first bike. I was too old for BMX when it came to Ireland, I was fascinated by it , it looked so fast and deadly..it was the first time I realised that you could "get air" on a bicycle , a bicycle for gods sake, humanly powered by little stick people.
All tearing along in a small bunch hopping and turning at motorcycle speed,, well thats what it looked like for me.
Then in the last few years it raised its head again and my interest was piqued when it came up at an Offroad Commission meeting. None of us were interested of course, it was a discipline beyond us , we were all about the Olympics in XC and the Worlds in DH.
I knew a few ex BMX racers but i only had vague memories of my Cousin Dave racing them..
Then along came Eamon Wyer from The Nam, apparently a BMXer of some repute in his day and riding a 29'er of all things. He introduced me to the " Cruiser" a BMX for grown ups.
a 24" Wheel machine that instantly captured my imagination. The Jump from a 26" MTB to a 24" Cruiser is instinctive to me.
And of course where else are you going to get one , Eurocycles !!!
We are bringing in these little beauties..The Felt Sector 24, what a cool name for the Worlds coolest bike.
Heres a few pictures of her in all her Glory..Look out next year for a Richie Byrne 24" Cruiser race..
These bikes are genius, you can dirt jump on them, ride in the park with the kids, relive your Raleigh Burner days and practice those Exups and Tail whips, just be cool and remember when it was fun to ride a bike...
The quality of this machine is just exceptional..
Get one, you won't be disappointed..

EPIC XC Champs Samhain 2010

2010-10-31T17:27:00.003Z

Well, weatherwise the day was cack ! But with the pre season about to begin and the title of being the Countrys best Mountainbiker up for grabs, we got a huge turnout.

Its a testament to the power of Cross Country racing that a man like Don O Connor can throw on a lycra suit and strap on a weapon like a Hardtail Stevens..i've no idea what its name is, my head is full of Ravens and Sixes !!
To be a hardcore XC racer, you have to be a Giant among Mountainbikers. All you have is 100mm and and a stiff rear triangle !! And my idea of XC does not include flat grass or tarmac.
Its always savage and always sideways..

Well done to Sophie for the photos..its her frst time using the new Camera and the multiple setings confused her!!

Look at the tension at the start line !!!

By Jeebus and they are off , like mad bad and dangerous to know bastards of death metal !!!

Superfast speedy guy Bob Seymour !!!

SUPERMAX the Cabbage eating Goatee sporting wonder Balkanian or Baltican..wherever the feck Polovakia is !! i know its near the Danube or the Niger or one of those mad places without a McDonalds !!

Definitely a Legend in the making !!!

Carol finishes 2nd Lady 2 years in a row..this time with a mechanical !!

The Admin team ...muchio grassy arse kiddies !!!

And here they are the greatest living Mountainbikers of our time..

In the middle of course is the one and only Bob Seymour, living legend and the great exponent of our art..

left of him is new gun Max Power, our favourite import..we've had a couple over the years but hes the best we've had from the European Theatre !!

right of Robin is my best buddy and adopted son..one of a few I've adopted over the years but none other than the Club Chairman Alfie Wallace !

and of course last but not least in the far left..

Mr John Doris..Club Champion 2010..

Me and the Big D go wayyyyy back..all the way to the White Knuckle CLub when he was a Superhuman Road Rider !!

Well done John...being Club Champion of Irelands biggest and sexiest MTB Club trancends other awards !!

thats it for 2010..

XC racing is the Heart and Soul of Mountainbike racing..everything else,including the reboot of Cylcocross came after it.

To be a real Mountainbiker you have got to be a cross country racer. Sure DH and the others that came after look good on Video and its a quick fix..but thundering down Gran Canaria in the pissing rain and going sideways on Toro and battling for 2 hours in what can only be described as a warzone..well you do the human math..

one man on a 22lb Carbon bike with only frail brakes and 3" of travel..thats a true heroe..you have to fight for every metre gained without crashing, every corner survived..then for every few metres of excruciating minute spent trying to hang on to your bike..you get handed half a KM of fierce, eye watering climbing..

then you do it again but faster..

Focus Super Bud

2010-10-19T23:30:00.001+01:00

Well..i've been on several different 100mm XC Style full sussers lately , mainly to see what the attraction is and why everybody is insisting that I'm a freakin Dinosaur with my Carbon Hardtails for racing on..that fact remains but ..
I've also been of the opinion that you don't need more than 100mm to ride fast down the singletrack and the big mountains and 100mm is all you need, anything more is for proper DH..but to really enjoy riding all over the mountains both up and down..100mm is really all you need.

So I've abandoned the 6" Travel bikes in favour of whats basically a full suss xc machine.
Now its not without its hazards..
I've had a couple of major crashes but thats really due to pushing it too far on an unfamiliar machine.

So first of all I took her for a spin up the Leadmines today ..handy , dry and handles brilliant on the climbs and the singletrack..

hen I brought her on the most extreme night ride you can imagine, Camaderry..I was expecting a nice dry spin..holy mother of god..talk about schlomp, Winter wasn't being denied in Wicklow.
Now she took the Wicklow gap road in her stride..all the way up in the Big ring and 3rd..chatting to the lads..like my favourite Carbone LaBaguette..
she was still a bit sketchy on the first descent..but once I warmed her up on the big descent , and the rock of death, she was fine...
Lightweight bikes are always going to be sketchy on the big mountains, especially at night.
In the Schlomp and at speed..
But once I got over my second big stack of the week..same freakin elbow as well..she worked dandy..i managed to stay on the wheels of a couple of legends on their 6" machines..nice !!
Overall..i think its going to be a deadly winter of riding on Super Bud..so far shes winning the XC full susser race..very deadly on the climbs and the flat and in the singletrack..
I'd say it would wipe the floor with its closes rivals..the Giant trance and the Specialized Stumpjumper..besides its about time they moved over and let the new boy in Town sexify the Irish MTB scene.

Ballinastoe Monday

2010-10-04T18:00:00.002+01:00

well i went to Ballinastoe this morning with Carol , its her second time out on the Mountainbike since she destroyed her shoulder 2 months ago.

It was a beautiful Autumn morning in Dublin and stayed that way in Wicklow. Now i'm not adverse to the odd climb..but who ever thought that climb up the hill out of the non existent car park would be a great idea was mad. It must tear the guts out of your average B'Stoe user.
I've raced up it many times and its just one of those sickening inclines thats without joy.
Carol made short work of it though, all that road cycling is paying off.

B'stoe is not a bad spot really..some savage views and I love that stand of Scots pines on the left as you turn left along the main fireroad

but my favourite spot is where the the outermost stretch catches sight of Luggala and turns back in and you can see Roundwood Reservoir and Wicklow head . Heres Knocknacloghoge, with Tonlegee in the background and Turlough hill in the distance on your left.

Fabulous views in to the interior of Wicklow from the furthermost part of Ballinastoe..
but kids, whats the deal with the straight lines avoiding the features..people are ploughing through schlomp to avoid some deadly rocky sections..
as a trailbuilder and and an Anti Christ I can't stomach people cutting corners and taking short cuts. Wheres the point ? Even in Ballinastoe, actually particularly in Ballinastoe, its ignorant and sad.
The only way you get better at anything is by overcoming the obstacles and challenges. Going around them lessens yourself ..wake up, take off your sandals and develop some real skill.

Really !! What are we like ?

2010-10-02T21:02:00.001+01:00

Now at this stage I'm concerned..actually concern is too weak a word. Whenever I go on a spin or a race, i'm surrounded by people my age or 10 years younger and i'm nearly 50 ..holy shit !!
When I was 25 I drank a bottle of Jameson Whiskey , a bag of Crazy Musharooms and did some crazy shit just because I thought after 25 , where was the point .
But here I am nearly 25 years later and I'm thinking theres so much to do and I'm going to run out of time !!!

Sorry I waffle..my point is theres very few Young mountainbikers..ok, theres a heap of them downhilling but thats not really the point. The object of Mountainbiking is to transverse the heights as fast and as sketchily as possible without seeing the same tree or Badger twice and while I love Downhill and XC as much as anybody can, those labels are only for a couple of niche disciplines..you are not a Mountainbiker unless most of the time you are going up and down for miles or hours, sometimes with only your heartbeat for company.

Sorry I wander again..
theres feck all kids coming in to the sport and very few people are bothered to do anything about it...

Yeah yeah , Cycling Ireland have some dull approaches to getting kids involved but they usually involve measurements..measuring the gears and limiting the time the kids have on the bike !!
i don't agree with that sort of anal approach..kids have no limits and once out of the classroom, do they really want to be measured with a measuring device..no they don't , they want to be measured by Cool or Gnar !! or skidding or scars !! They want a mad person with funny stories and the skill of a pagan god to show them how to squeeze joy from a muddy track or a crappy bike !!

I know, i'm hardly a role model for kids with my music taste, my islamic faith , my facial hair and my tendency to colour everything with an expletive..but I don't know..I have clear memories of being a kid and I remember the people that inspired me were hairy faced people who didn't respect Authority but at the same time were fierce and passionate and radiated competence...and would make sure nothing bad happened to you !!

Anyway, I brought a big gang of kids around Djouce today and while I have the Certs and the training and the experience to do this..being a Dad myself ( and a pretty cool one too, she tells me) is really all the training I need plus my gratitude to the parents who trust me with their most precious treasures..we had a ball.

we had a really great time and it was refreshing for me to ride out with people that lack nasal hair and who moan about back pain and can remember Wanderley Wagon..

Seriously folks for such a cool sport with all the stuff that kids love , we really need to fix this lack of skidders !!!

Heres Janos' mad bike its an IBIS something !! nuts !

ANd now for a few photos of the day !

I ran out of space again ..!! sorry folks but it was a deadly day out !!

Week End Biking..Marathon Champs 2010

2010-09-27T21:56:00.003+01:00

Well MBCC ran an excellent event..The Irish National Mountainbike Marathon Champs in Ballyhoura Bike Park. Wow, when you consider that most of them boys normally prefer to wear Old Womens Clothes and eat Pizza on their days off, they did a fantastic Job
I can't find that Photo of them dressed in Old ladies clothes with Army hats but I found this weird video of some of them !
The Lonely Langer Club

Inanyways..we got to park in the Car Park where the resident Parking lad with the Hi Viz jacket and the beard directed us to a spot..telling me and Alfie
" Ye ken pay if you want to !"
So we didn't bother our bollixes !! Thats how we Jackeens behave when we visit the cradle of Humanity that is County Cork..the Rebel County..because Billy Idol is their Patron Saint !!

there were several people knocking about that i know, all looking very Hi Tensile , until I made a crack or two in their direction.

Heres a descendant of Cuchulainn displaying the PowerFat products he uses to keep himself in tip top shape. Johnny Mccabe is the brains of the outfit up there in the Cooleys !

Heres EPICs secret weapon..Ger Jackson..every morning he rides his Bull Sheep down to Roundwood reservoir and swims twenty laps of the big lake , dries himself off with the Sheep and rides him back up to his Grotto..

Heres Silver Medallist Ciara macManus with Conor , hes a Doctor of Bolloxology according to him !!

Heres the Champ himself..hes on the Nocarbhighfatpowerprotein Plan I gave him, Apparently he once ate a crisp and a Hurricane appeared in Edinburgh and wiped out the population there !! Ryan Sherlock folks..National Boring Road Climb Champion and National Marathon Champ 2010 !! He was National Champ in 2008 as well ! He wasn't National Champ last year because of Niall Davis won X Factor or something and Cycling Irelands budget wouldn't stretch that far

This lad was supposed to win masters but he brought the wrong Hemlet !!

Right back on track ..heres Willie Rock, don't be put off by his cuddly appearence..hes getting ready to kill somebody with that Tube..he trains the Army Rangers..and in these recessionary times, with no bullets or pointy sticks left in the Armoury and with the Country gone green its all about the tube garrotte and the stabbing in the eyeball with a tyre lever..

heres the only known photo of Eoin Keith without the usual dribbles and that " I just ate a bag of Ants !!" look he usually has..theres something strange about a man who has two first names and one of them doesn't sound like it should ! I have suspected for a long time that he is in fact a spy for the Welsh secret service..sure look at the Nappy hair on him..that came off the arse of a Black Mountain Sheeps arse..anyway I kicked his arse in the race and thats all that really matters !

and heres another adventure racer Chris " me Knickers are on me head " Caulfield or Kojak as hes known

Look at these two skellingtons discussing who's going to win what !!

Well thats the photos..I was very disapointed in my result..I was bombing along up the hills , the wind was in my moustache , I was having a few mechanical problems due to poor preparation and then just as I was gunning for the win..The Cork Trannies aimed their heeby jeebie guns at me and my legs seized up around the corner from the finish !! I had to drag myself around the corner and roll down the hill to the finish..I suspect that Forrest Gump impression I did early on in one of the huge puddles fecked up my legs..I'll be writing to the MBCC and demanding a replay.

But it was a great day out, some crazy bint in a whit BMW decided to drive at us up the fast lane on the way home as well..

Its just like a Rock and Roll Rollercoaster ride heading out of Dublin these days..when we tried to get the woman at the Toll Bridge as well to sell us a cup of tea and a cup of Coffee she gave us directions to Portlaoise !!

Some craic , see you all back there next year and I hear the European Champs is definitely on in Killarney..

Winter,,pray for a cold dry one

2010-09-13T22:25:00.000+01:00

So Winters here..nightlights are charging and people are rummaging in the backs of their wardrobes for Tights, Winter gloves, Winter Boots..
Some of us keep going with 2 nights out and Sundays..no change except we strap on 6" Full Sussers and work the spins around descending.
its grim and harsh out there but if you don't do it, slowness will get you and fitness dissapate..
then comes February and the XC NPS is on the Horizon and everybody who stayed at home watching Eastenders and playing tummysticks wants back on the pain train.
So gear up..use self hynosis and ride out the Irish Winter...after all theres no such thing as bad weather , just bad equipment ( and a big yellow loser chicken streak down yourback )

Heres the Richie Byrne Rules of night riding
1. Get a helmet light - and number 1 for value and function without a shadow of a doubt is the Hope vision 2
http://www.chainreactioncycles.com/Models.aspx?ModelID=29380
2. Be wary of baggies..if they get wet they will sag, your arse will catch in the saddle and fuck you up. Bibshorts over tights, keep everything tight and out of reach of the saddle snag 3. Winter boots - Water proof socks are like the LoughNess monster a feckin joke of nature
4. Have a back up Commuter light on the bars - you have no idea how dark it gets up there.
5. Don't go out unless you have tubeless tyres , well you can if you want but if you get a puncture in a force 9 and horizontal sleet, its no craic at all
6. Choose your route smartly - there are several dry routes out there if you have the cop on but use a simple rule of thumb..go up the fireroads and down the trails.
7. Don't go on your own - really don't go on your own .

3 Rock again..Why not..!!

2010-09-12T18:42:00.003+01:00

Well why not, this week i've done 3x 50k spins all over the place and there were rumours a couple of living legends were intending to make a return ..heres the CLub Standard legend smooving along down some rocky singletrack

it was a savage lovely day even with the monster puddles and black schlomp of doom that was coating everything, but we certainly made the best of it..
and this young lad on his first ever Savage Epic spin..

Then Richard came along dancing across the pointy rocks like a big ballerina full of drink !

so then as if by magic we were transformed all the way to the Alps or somewhere, sandy and gnarly and lovely..

Heres the Master of Concrete and you know when you see those American Lawyer shows on TV and theres the crazy Lawyer with the unorthodox ways of dealing with being cross examined by the sleazy Yale Lawer..well watch out for this lad..it'll be the first time a mattock will be used to get a point across in an Irish Courtroom!!

heres Skippy out the front giving it socks !!

Here Oscar leading the charge down the bottom of the boneshaker with all 80 or 100mm of travel ..not the cool, suave exterior on him..what a
legend !

one of the funniest conversations I've ever had on a spin was with the two elderly lesbian hillwalkers we kept meeting

Elderly lesbians " you're after coming all the way down . just to go back up ?
Richie Byrne MTB Legend " Yeah, its deadly "
Elderly Lessers " you're all idiots !!"

So we're standing at t-connector waiting for the lads and they come along again..
" howarya..you lads just love standing atround talking don't ye ?"

as for Smithers the dog..

we first encountered him struggling across the Wocca woccas..I should have taken a photo..the poor fucker just looked like a beer belly on legs..he was way off the pace of his owner with the other 3 bouncy dogs..

So i'm passing the walker lad

Richie - " hey, have you another dog ?"
Dopey walker with his headphones in " oh yeah .."
Richie Byrne - Dog lover " well the poor fucker is well dropped !!"

then we're going along the Fireroad from above Fred Davis' field and holy Jesus with his pants down..
Theres Smithers the dog again with the owner way in the distance..

Somebody says to me " the poor dog is out of breath going downhill !! "

So then I decided to call the Dog Lynchy !!

I love dogs..more than some people..you can't drag a dog you've obviously fattened up for Christmas across fuckin 3 rock like that..
I wa nearly going DSPCA on the stupid walker !!

The Miners Trail ..

2010-09-10T23:42:00.000+01:00

Well..you know i used to do some savage arsed spins back in the olden times with the Seans, Herlihy and Travers.
We used to ride from Sandyford to Glendo and do the miners trail..before they built the Boardwalks and the savage frickin paved trail they have now..or at least they had before Mother Nature gave those National Park Fascists the finger !!
You always had to do the ferocious fireroad..but then they lashed in the sleepers halfway up to Lugduff..half way ? why not all the way..then the EU decided that railway Sleepers coated in Creosote were bad for the environment !!
But i digress..heres the top of the fireroad before the last steep bit !!

yeah..and heres the view over to the left and back down !!

oh like my god the mountainbikers are wrecking the place !!

except only mountainbikers appreciate this kind of shot..

or this one..whats that..Mountainbikers who know where they are going and what they are doing and are well equipped and experienced with emergencies and about 2 of them..holy shit..theres not a busload,walking 50 abreast on a bog !! with poles and a bagload of tissue paper tothrow at the Heather and bog cotton!!
you're having a laugh..MTBers just wreck the place

yeah..
I'm a mountainbiker..but i fuking bet I know more about the mountains, the plants, animals and what needs to be done to save it better than any casual walker

goodbye miners !!

The Final round of EPIC Club league 2010

2010-09-10T21:27:00.000+01:00

Well thats it for another year..like all EPICs undertakings, its spectacular..theres nowhere else in Ireland where you can race your socks off for 45 to 60 mins against the best riders in the Country from all Clubs on a specially designed track that never gets boring and I mean never !!
Every week for 20 weeks we ride 3 laps of it and we never tire of it ..
And the beauty is you don't have to be superfit or superfast to take part because its Handicapped, it doesn't even matter if you are in EPIC or not, you are welcome !!
But its not just about the racing, in fact i'd say thats only a small part of it, its the unbelievable craic in The Golden Ball afterwards..the hilarity and the Camaraderie is priceless.
A big thanks to Fergal Kilkenny from MAD, who puts so much effort in to the Handicaps and the start times and to Brian O'Neill who sorts out the results and has them up before everybody is in bed.
And to all the timers and Jack for starting every week.
And all the Stalwarts that never miss it like Don and Richard Lynch..when I started it 5 years ago it was to bring Alfie and Damo on..imagine, they were only young lads then !!
I never thought it would be as popular as it is..
The Course is unbelievable...but remember how long i'm at this and i'm not a Cyclist, i'm a martial Artist and an Extreme Sports Artist..thats why Heart rates and Tyre selection make no sense to me..i'm only after the Buzz..
Downhilling is just too much hanging around and waiting and walking and over too soon for me..so I've always loved XC, but XC Richie Byrne style, where your heart is bursting in your chest and you can taste blood in your mouth..and I think going uphill in the big ring at speed is as much a rush as going the opposite way !!
And singletrack..brutal , unforgiving roots and rocks, rising out of the ground like ,miniature ogres intent on ripping the flesh from your body !
And I like the people who gravitate towards my style of XC..no nonsense bastards that just want to get stuck in, that don't obsess about injuries and have no excuses.
And they love it..they love the pain, they love watching their lap times fall and see themselves improving..make no mistake XC racing is the Source , Man..it'll change your life.

Heres Roo..we have'nt seen him for a while but hes been a fixture of the Club league for so long, it wouldn't be a League without him..hes also an extremely savage rider but an over developed parentalhusband Gland has fucked him up..!!

Here he is..dodging french gangsters and chauffering the womens club league Champ !!
Damo " The Transporter " Mulchrone !!

and Brian of course..our fantaasstic Club Treasurer..be warned when Vet time comes around and all the kids are looking after themselves, he'll be the man to watch. One of the best mountainbikers ever to spring from Baby Jesus' brain, however..
is he off to school with that bag or auditioning for Dora the explorer !!

holy BatKnacker..whats Ross McClue like with the Leg implants , the Veet addiction , the dodgy leg tattoos and the Sidi Oversocks..yes folks..i'm medically perturbed !!

Heres Kellyer hiding his belly, like we didn't see it before he sucked it in !!

ok , heres Dons Mickie !! what can you say about Don..hes the greatest living person who doesn't look like he'd be a deadly mountinbiker but is !! and hello, heres the fine Micky to prove it !!!

GO!!!!!!

Heres The Jack lad..
first cousin to Elizabeth Regina , Queen of Blighty, High Priestess of the Limeys and mother in law we'd like to have !! thats what i've alway felt we've lacked here in Ireland, a king or a Queen, fucks sake, we had Charlie Haughey telling us to tighten our belts while he was greasing his combover in the bahamas with the sweat of 3 Million eejits..and as for Bertie...
I'd make a deadly King because i'd invade England for the craic, they'd never see that coming !! oh and we'd be the first state of the USA in Europe ..or the newest province of Commucapitalist China..it all depends on who pays me the most !!

look at these lads...one remembers the Titanic and the other remembers his toes..both are deadly and fine example of growing old disgracefully !!

oooh look at these lads...the furry freak brothers !!!!

Here he is all lycraed up , like a middle aged Bob Seymour

Inspector Clouseau laughs while Ryan Sherlock falls off his bike !! and Non Club Champ Ray Doyle laughs his bollocks off !!

and now heres the number 1 EPIC Rider Killian O Donaghue..singing like Mario Caruso , with Luke " Handsome as the day is long " Smaul , cogitating and the one and only " The Greg" if Carlsberg made mountianbikers they would all be like Greg Callaghan !!

and thats it..
The EPIC Club League..no other Race series is like it no real MTBer has not taken part in it..

3 Rock Post monsoon - September 2010

2010-09-07T22:44:00.001+01:00

Well..i think the big open Mountain spins are over..well at least till we get a few frosty days, lucky for us , 3 rock is only up the road.
and me and my superstars aren't afraid of a bit of muck and water !! or pointy rocks or skiddery roots or sudden plunges into darkness !!
Theres not many places a mountainbiker can go that looks down on a throbbing metropolis like this one !! I know I hid most of its sprawl..but look theres Dun laoghaire pier..!!

So me and my hardy crew went up via Johnny Foxes and mr Davis' back passage and up to the fireroad that goes nowhere..and left on to one of Fergals trails..MX I think he called it..
then on to more of his, rock and rolla I think, we had to get out of there fast because only Damo had a light and the rest of us were floundering behind him like so many gormless eejits !!
after a lot of twisting and turning and floating across rocks, roots and dead bodies and buried ammunitions caches ( it is 3 rock !!) we arrived at Ticknock after tackling Kilkennys Romper Scuttery or sclimer !!
We had to wait for Dave the fireman because some old lady was trapped up a tree by a cat and being a fireman he has to obey his Hippocampus oath and rescue the old biddy, then put the fire out on the cat !!

Theres Dave waving the cat at us whike luke bows down before me, Alfie and Doris as we are deadly and hes only recovering from reverse anorexia, thats a terrible bloating disease brought on by being too good at your job and being born with that part of your brain that encourages responsible behaviour..the poor fucker !!
Heres Doris..hes a legend..even the roadies fear him!! and so they should, he once broke the RAS by just looking crooked at Phillip Cassidy !! would you just look at the big sky of Ragnarok behind him..

so away we went and across and up the wicklow way and across the back and up the top of Fairy Castle..I'm getting sick of that Name..we should change it to Googlepixacottle or something..fuckin Fairy Castle !!
and heres 2 Rock...who names these places..did they have Gaelic Names and the Limeys came along and erased them and called them 2 Rock and 3 Rock because they thought we were thick ? have they never seen the book of kells or New grange or Stonehenge and all the other things the Ancient Irish built..

Anyway we had a bit of a wait and heres Max, thrilled at the prospect of his Mum coming over from Poland..she'll be here any day soon, travelling in a gold plated Mercedes, paid for by Max after all the money he sent home !!

now heres some really handsome men..living proof of my theory of PowerFat..these are serious Athletes who have proven time and time again that a decent layer of Energy Efficient PowerFat actually assists them in Mountainbiking..

Don't confuse this with FatFat..which is just regular Fat !!! theres a world of difference !!
Anyway after we descended like the burning embers of an exploded planet we lost Damo , well he abandoned us with his fecking R2D2 light stuck on top of his head !!
Now ladies prepare yourselves..I'm starting a series of Photos reflecting what best about the male mountainbiker..
Heres Micky...irelands top Homeless Mountainbiker , so far we've managed to fill 3 burger King Soft Drink cups with loose change, so anyday now we'll be sending him across the sea to Gdansk for the World Hobo MTB Champs

Sunday Savage Spin in Glendo..no actually it was Djouce !!!

2010-09-05T19:05:00.002+01:00

heres the Garmin of the route we took !!

http://connect.garmin.com/activity/47813389

what can you do when the weather turns to shit in Ireland..you go to Djouce..
Holy sweet mother of baby jesus with an AK 47 !! having turned the EPIC Elite squad around and headed for Djouce..i was shocked to see the place overran with mountainbikers !!
Fat ones, small ones, tall ones, females ones !! Mountainbikers of all description and creed !!

But there was only one team of Superstars in the place..that was us..El Camera diablo had run out of battery but heres a few random snaps of spins in Djouce !!

first i brought my handpicked group of chiselled wunderkinds..not a saggy arse to be seen , well one , but he went home early, apparently there was a free whinging session in Our lady of perpetual moanings in Termonfeckin he had to go to !!

So we took on my pain gain route..up there, around that , over this and sideways along the other..

then over the river , up the big yoke..in to the mist with the Gorillaz , down to the river , up the hill , down the slidey yoke woohoo..is there anything better than sliding sideways down a hill with an eejit on a Focus with handlebars made out of leather behind you cursing his self !!

after we went down that trail beside the river then back up to the cars for the Oreos and the Coffee

Sunday learn the Basics session !!

2010-09-05T18:22:00.000+01:00

Well 5 hardy souls ventured out with me on this..Jesus what a poxy day for a Coaching session..End of the world rain put paid to my plan to session some tracks and turn these lads in to superstars..to stay warm we had to go on a spin !!
Now Djouce is a savage place for a spin but in the wet, before it turns to sclomp its as if somebody released millions of vaseline coated mice with fish strapped to their backs !! everything is skiddery !!
previously innocuous roots become rapid serpents covered in the previously mentioned mice !!
So for lads trying to improve it just becomes Damnation Alley !!
But everybody survived and I was relieved !! practice those trackstands folks and those rear wheel lifts..get proper shoes and pedals !! and baggies !! Lycra only on middleaged men is harmful to the eyes of other Mountain users , I'm sure I saw more than one lady Hillwalker bless themselves !!
Practice those few skills I showed you , especially the skidding ( only on Tarmac , I do not encourage the disgraceful act of offroad skidding !!)
Well done folks ..that was only my second soaking today and my third this weekend ..

But check this lad out..his first jump ever !! this could be you, once the monsoon is over !!

Stay young forever !!

2010-09-03T23:39:00.000+01:00

What is it about bicycles and gravity..getting the damn things in the air is an obsession..even 6" is considered a feckin awe inspiring event worth talking about..
Myself and The Alfster headed to Enniskerry Dirt jumps as hes got himself a dirt jump bike !!
After a few runs on my deadly Richie Byrnes moustache sponsored BMX i took a few snaps..after all, you can't document such a momentous occasion with lies and conjecture
Heres Ronnies back wheel..all my bikes are called Ronnie to signify the Legend of the Moustache

Dave Kelly is my little cousin..well he was little when we were kids..he used to be a handy BMXer , well so he tells me !! I was quite impressed with him on his Dirt Jumper

Some of the shots are a tad blurry, unless somebody wants to sponsor me a fancy camera , i'm stuck with me little old Nikon jobbie..still i think you'll get the spirit of what I'm at !
I've met a lot of cool people in my time as a Mountainbiker but really cool people are hard to find..people who just do it..theres a lot of mouthpieces and yakkety yakkers out there and I should know, i've the biggest mouth of anybody !! and I love the yakkety yak but I really love the doing of shit!!
Heres a recent addition to the Richie Byrne Pantheon of MTB Gods..Eamon " Hairoil " Wyer, a BMX legend in his youth, which was a few decades ago !!

And heres my partner in crime The Alfster..the best mountainbiker in the World if he'd just give up the hoorin and the shootin of the Indians !!!

" Dude, you totally roosted that huck to flat..Dude !!

Heres a few of young Gary Wall..a downhiller of some reknown and a passionate rider, he feckin impressed me I can tell you !!

Heres Mellon back from Morzine and sporting the latest in Body armour from les Hospidale pour luckytobealive !!

Heres Loose Cacks Racings Colin Keogh..with those guns hes a sure fire sign up for Team Richie Byrnes Moustache !!

Stay young forever kids..you can't bring money, houses , prestige, PHDs or firm buttocks with you to the next life..but you will be judged on how gnarly you lived your life and how much air you got !!
Believe me, when you get to my age and have seen the white light many , many times like I have..you just get to know this shit !!

Wear Lycra ...go faster or fatter !!

2010-09-03T23:02:00.000+01:00

Well..
the EPIC Club league is nearly done for another year..The penultimate round was a doozy, unbelievable conditions on a beautiful Summers evening..the craic was superb on the start line because one of my favourite riders of all time was full on lycra..
Sometimes a picture can say a thousand words.
I think I managed to capture Dons inner Jeeves !!

When I arrive at either the pearly gates or the other place after my time is up..what will I be able to sum up as my contribution to mankind..it'll be the EPIC mtb CLub..where else will you get mild mannered graphic designers fretting for a week about a Club lap time and wearing badly fitting lycra to gain a few seconds against his nemesis..a former Concrete artist and future Solicitor !!
Only in EPIC

Djouce and Maulin XCOD ..

2010-08-31T22:07:00.003+01:00

I love Djouce...probably because theres heap of Deciduous trees in it and it has a more than one river and a cliff or two and a massive Waterfall and theres a couple of actual peaks.
But more than that scientific formula..it has atmosphere..I don't know what it is about the place, something Phaerie or Old Eireann .
In the meantime, myself and the surviving members of XCOD, the rest appear to have abandoned us hit LSD !! then XTC..BenchCut..Son of Benchcut ( the best section of trail in Djouce in my opinion)
over the river and up to Ride rock via Powerscourt..

heres a couple of living legends and one lad that masquerades as a frenchman !!

And heres the one and only Alfie with the big grin and the Max Power lad and still inspector Clouseau is in there !!

Micky giving it socks behind Max and the Frenchman !!

Ride rock is just a fantastic spot, almost Alpine...
Heres probably the last photo of Chris Matthews..Motorbike Enduro legend and savage MTBer to be taken without him being buried under a mountain of Pampers and looking like he hasn't slept in 10 years !!

Even when we have a moment the Brendan lad is watering the scenery..would you look at that view though, less than an hour from Dublin..

From Maulin we went down and across to the river Valley and up the other side and down both the best descent and Disco Stu, followed by Gran Canaria and back to the cars..
well for some..I went home on my bike via Kilmacanouge..

3 Rock

2010-08-30T22:19:00.000+01:00

Its funny, as far as I can recall it was Djouce where it all really started..I don't think anybody thought of 3 Rock in the early days because it was so close to Dublin and lacked the beauty and wildness of Djouce..especially with Djouce Mountain being such a Peak and relatively isolated.
The thoughts of riding up 3 Rock with its masts and its concrete Bunker like edifices just ruined the whole notion for me and my friends.
And it definitely wasn't the first place a Bandit trail was built..
that was Sanctum Sanctorium in Curtlestown...funny video if it ever gets from tape to digital !
In the early days a Bandit trail was never considered ..we didn't need to build, we had enough to keep us going and we had free reign to go wherever we pleased.
I don't actually think a trail was built until Coillte put up the no Mountainbiking signs !!
Which is funny when you consider it.
But anyway i'm getting away from 3 Rocks place in the MTB Scheme of things..
Well its over ran with outdoor users, from casual walkers in runners and leggings, Scaldy Hillrunners with drooling mouths and permanent stitches in their sides, dog walkers, " Serious " Mountaineering types with poles, Gaiters and 80litre expedition packs getting overtaken by packs of ladies from " Bootcamp" and then theres us.
Serious XC heads on their way to the interior, Freeriders in pisspots, baggies and skidding down the tarmac with their kneepads on the wrong legs,full on DHers dressed to kill waiting for walkers and runners and troops of monkeys to finish walking up the Boneshaker, random packs of goobers scrabbling franticly in the Gorse for Guns Kilkennys latest creation..
Then theres the Mototossers..small gangs of middleaged MXers blarting their way along the double tracks and up and down Kilmashogue lane and getting stuck in the Heather and revving the feck out of the yokes making an even deeper slot for the next sweaty goon to come along and get even more stuck in..
but we all deserve 3 Rock.I can see it from my house every day and while its domed and has more concrete and tarmac on it and now deadly artificial walking trails , which I approve of in a perverse sort of way, its still a Mountain, because its bigger than us and the next stop from the top of it is the Moon, we should all be able to share it, enjoy its man made diminshing cover of Scandanavian softwoods and its red blinking light !!
it won't be long now before the official Mountainbike trails are built on it and I wonder what that will mean..
A new Golden age maybe..only time will tell..

Coaching !!!

2010-08-27T21:26:00.000+01:00

I'm really starting to enjoy this..hey..i'm at this over 20 years and when i started, it was all new. But i've never stopped learning and nowadays theres so many people taking it up..well i would have loved it if there was coaching at the start..someone that knew what they were doing and could give me enough tips and info to get me started.
Thats what drives me...but here we are and while I'm Coaching and guiding..i'm still learning !!
I can see the difference its making, which is brilliant.
You know where to find me..

The Epic CLub League

2010-08-26T22:19:00.000+01:00

Well..what can I say about the EPICmtb Club League..for the last 5 years we've ran it on our course on the leadmines..whuch is the best XC course anywhere, many have tried to best it..but they are only imitiations..it was the first completely handbuilt club track..
But the League is more than just a race. Its an excuse to hang out with like minded people and have the craic.
In fact the racing is not what its about at all..the camaraderie and the fellowship..Mountainbikers race on their own..theres no team tactics and everybody wants to beat you..
Except me..I want everybody to be better everytime..I love it when I see a rider I've introduced to the League come past me..it means they get it and want to be better than they are.
When I see XC Superstars like Ryan Sherlock getting such a buzz out of a little track like this I really dig it !!
Its a little devil beast of a monster..theres no peace and no let up and even though its a severely testing track..in 5 years with literally thousands of riders through it, we have never had a serious injury...
The best part though is the craic in the pub afterwards..
This is what EPICs all about..having the craic , riding your skin off and taking the piss out of each other !

Just before the off the lads say a decade of the rosary and listen to the Angelus !!

Friday 20th August 6.00pm entry level XC spin Meeting at Lamb Doyles

2010-08-16T19:21:00.000+01:00

I'm doing a basic spin over 3 rock on Friday evening at 6.00pm .
This will suit anybody with some experience and fitness . email me if you're interested. An Xc bike or a short travel machine would be ideal.
richie.byrne@gmail.com

The miners Trail with Dynamic Damian and the Lost Boys

2010-08-10T23:23:00.000+01:00

Well that was once again the schizzle..up the fireroad between Mullacor and Lugduff and on to the Boardwalks..

People spend loads of money to travel to far away places ..this place is literally 1 hour from Dubiin and unless you are really unfit , a bit of an old fireroad takes you to a spectacular arena !!

Heres Maxi , hes a true savage, rode all the way up and down without a seat post and saddle

Look at this lad..get him way from the wedding fairs and the Salmon Omlettes and hes back where he belongs !!!

Heres me , for once

Heres my favourite photo in a long time, it captures the spirit of the Savages in a savage land..right before the best descent imaginable..everybody is chilling out momentarily before the off..
Where else would you be ?
I love these adventures !!! its not going to be long before we can get these warm evening big mountain spins..I hope this Blog will be a record for people to see how cool Muntainbiking in Ireland really is !

Friday 13th Complete beginners introduction to Mountainbiking !! Ballinastoe and The Leadmines

2010-08-08T21:57:00.000+01:00

I'll be in Ballinastoe at 10.00am on Friday if anybody would like some guiding or coaching around the place..email me for details and to confirm.
then at the Leadmines ...meeting at Palmers Pub , the Golden Ball at 6.00 Friday
If you are a relative newcomer or improver..male or female..let me know..
richie.byrne@gmail.com
€30 a head for over 2 hours of learning to be deadly...
I'll go through everything frum bike set up to tyres to basic skills and then some gnarly shredding !!

Balance in the Universe !!

2010-08-08T21:28:00.000+01:00

Now while Saturdays spin was all about the Kilometres and the aerobic zones and the palpitations !!
Today was all about the hangover and the craic..it was an auspicious start when the birds were giving it socks in the trees and when i arrived at Djouce, Brendan was sitting as usual in the nip !
Then Alfie and Maximus Crashimus arrived..when Alfie got out of Maxs little red hairdressers Fiat a seagull on its way to a dump somewhere for a feed fell out of the sky drunk !!
He had forgotten his gloves and his tights and shorts so he used his good pants and some arm warmers..now what Alfie Wallace is doing with arm warmers is beyond me !!
Can this be my number 1 rider !!

..

So away we go..and its helter frickin skelter up to " The Twisty trail" and on to LSD..what a deadly little trail even though I say so myself , why you would go in to the twisty trail halfway up the hill is beyond me ..way better to go on and rip along that little bad boy !!
Then Benchcut , Son of benchcut ( ahhhhhhhh what a deadly little route)
down to the river where Nipples mcDonagh got a puncture and we ripped the man parts out of him because of his hypochondria !! through Powerscourt and up the Earls drive , meeting a couple of ignorant dickhead roiders skidding down the Earls drive ! I've had reports of people like this before ignoring riders in distress in Djouce..WTF..if a bollix like me will ask somebody do they need help then regular people should really feel obliged.
Going down the earls drive , how feeble is that !!
so up the red road with Mr "I can't believe we don't own the best pub in Dalkey no more" trying to catch up !!
As a man who was a teenager in the '70's McDonaghs in Dalkey was an institution..and to have the son of Freda and Leo as a member of EPIC..well I just get emotional !!
he took this picture of me and Alfie trying to get away !!

heres me and Alfie making a getaway !!

So at the top of the red road..the Alfie lad gets a loan of Colms pump !! ,yes another Colm !!

Off down the Best descent till half the pack got lost !!! some craic though !!
and at the bottom i saw Killers go over the bars for the first time ever !!
So up the Earls drive to the upper car park where I fooled the gang in to Whoa including the Culchie !! Respect !!
And on the way back to the cars Maximus skulled his Polish ass again and Mick ripped off his
derailler but it was all good !! and we all had a good time !!
Heres my front Disc rotor !!

Saturdays adventure

2010-08-08T20:19:00.000+01:00

So Saturday was all about the miles for the Marathon Champs..having given up my season to be Commentator and Commissar for most of the NPS' its the only Goal I have !!
So a fair group of us headed from the Gala Shop up the front of Ticknock and in to Ticknock proper..from here we went up by Toms Sex Shop and on to the walking trail on Kilmashogue..
Now I know the DMP people would like us to stay off it..but come on, its deadly for riding up and as far as I'm concerned, why shouldn't a responsible athlete use it for training on, you're hardly going to run anybody over going uphill.
No while I respect the efforts that the DMP go to to make the Dublin Mountains accessible to the general public, they are amateurs compared to Mountain meitheall..what a bunch of savage doozers !! Every mountainbiker should give them a hand at some stage !!
heres there site
http://www.pathsavers.org/
anyway down the Woccas to the Glencullen road and up to The Mini Bog of Death..
it wasn't until we reached the end of it that I realised we'd lost 2 of the lads but found them again !!
Down ravens rock and Annacrivey and the Dream mile..
from there we hit Cloon and across to the Featherbeds and on to Cruagh..
All of this is within site of Dublin city..
Now as I come from a Mountaineering background its in me to bag summits or routes..so I have to collect various spots along the way..
I'm never happy with one trail though, except maybe the miners !!
so from Cruagh we went up Tibradden and along the other walking trail where we met some DMP rangers and a hige gang of walkers..everybody was very pleasant ..after all we share the same goals, we all want to enjoy the Mountains ..
Up Fairy Castle and down the Boneshaker and home..
Only myself and Eoin Keith the Adventure racing Legend made it to the end together..but Legends attract legends you know..

DH Coaching Cloon !

2010-08-04T23:50:00.000+01:00

Fer fecks sake..I've been in that place 3 times since last Friday..but hey its not bad..its only 20 minutes from Deans Grange and theres loads of scope for more..
Trying to Downhill on a Giant Reign is not bad, shes a bit dubious on the jumps bit on the rest, shes a little beauty. One of the best Mountainbikes I've ever owned..
Here she is under me as I float casually over the Ski Jump !!

I had two fine students Ger and Darragh..Ger was a complete beginner at this and like everybody young , old, fat or Skinny..he wanted to jump..Jump Forrest Jump ,as they say !!
But for those of us in the know, any eejitt can jump..its the landing that gits ye !!
Its that little knack of knowing where those fat tyres need to go, where your arse needs to be and where your head is physically and mentally..
The last thing you want is to land and suddenly think " I don't want to be here, my fly is open, my girlfriend doesn't love me !!"
You have to go to a Zen place..
Maybe its the big lump of a helmet or something or a thick skull but sometimes I feel like I'm just a disembodied head flying through the air..then theres the " thunk!" of a landing and my limbs and bits have returned but they're not mine and for a split molecule of a second panic torpedoes your heart..but it goes away as you realise you've made it and a quick breath propels you away down the track squishing the slugs and clipping the stumps !!
Heres my Ace Student Darragh when I first discovered him wandering the woods wearing only a Kaftan and a pair of Doc Martens..he was brutal..but look at him now..then look away then look back at him..you thought it was Sam Hill but it isn't !!

XC or Death !!

2010-08-03T22:46:00.000+01:00

Well Max Power proved once and for all that its Cross Country or death and that really fast Xc racers should leave the downhill to proffessionals like me and Alfie
Hers my DH bike looking all moody and David Lynchian up in the mountains with the Granite Blocks and the stony grey soil of Glencree !!

I hooked up with Max and Steve Peat and off we went...the Ski Lift was broked after the local farmer had piled a flock of 20 sheep into it and it had given up the Ghost and due to cutbacks and the cost of twine in Ashford Market well its just been abandoned!

Steve Peat and Max Power

=

so we're heading up the fireroad and we met this slow lad..Steve said it was Smithers and Max said no..it is just Slug or Kalkalash..a Polish delicacy they eat at Christmas or on their birthdays !

So off we went..Steve was his usual boistorous self and Max full of the chat about that hole would be great for burying bodies and how in Poland that he was a Brain Surgeon of some reknown until the MDF or the PVC ( russian secret police)were after him for some indiscretion or other and he had to flee to Ireland and become a proffessional messer !

We did one run of the NPS track and realised it was too dim in there to enjoy it so we decided to go and do Colins track..now I am not a fan of this track..the rocks don't go with the Foxgloves and the bracken and theres just way too many berms..but I gave in even though I prefer the pagan royalty that is the NPS track..
After several hucks to flat and tailwhips and supermen seatgrabs..Max went too high too fast and next thing it was WHAM BAM THANK YOU MAM!!! and the man was down in an eruption of dust..
I ran to his aid and took a photo of him looking a bit dazed

then the violence and nudity began

then I hynotised the Max lad into removing his pants ..I learnt that trick from the scobie women of Loughlinstown ..

Look at him hiding his wacek from us !!
Anyway once all the excitement was over he headed down to do a few runs on the little box jump down the end and Max went home for some hugs..

Anyway while DH is cool and all..its XC or Death for us legends of the Lycra

Derrybawn , Furburger , WW Fireroad and Ballinafunbags !! Today

2010-08-02T20:20:00.000+01:00

Well..Wicklow again on a Bank Holiday Monday from The Glenmalure Lodge Hotel and Spa..
Up the Fireroad and on to the Shay Elliot Road Climb...grim..but better to do it now thank later..
then out on to the Mountain side..I love this singletrack..open mountain..dry..sometimes boggilicious but rideable...

then its off it on to the deadly little trail that leads on to Derrybawn ridge..

Heres Andrew giving it socks on his XC Bike

And heres Brendan or MOOP as we now know him as !!

Then we had the usual yakkity yak at the top of Derrybawn just before we hit " Furburger " and nearly died the death of a thousand holes filled with pointy rocks , hidden by rampant heather !!

heres my two sons..Moop and Hoop !!


The Lost Boys


Don and the Colms


Alfie winning the Spin..is that Matt Hoffman behind him, why kids I think it is !!

and heres a shot of Ballinafunbags .....ooohh, tricky !!

Scarr and Lake Tittykaka !!

2010-08-01T19:48:00.000+01:00

Hey...6 rebels hit the heights of Wicklow today..non stop on 6" bikes..now while I like racing both DH and XC ..its big mountain spins with loads of ferocious climbing and unreal descending that i live for. Some craic as usual with the relentless banter when stopped and painful silences when the climbs get nosebleeding !

Jesus though..after climbing Scarr with minimum dabbing, because after all. its always a competition..you have to have a Cadburys moment or listen to Alfies Toffee Crisp theory
" if the Toffee Crisp is soft then its warm out, if its hard its cold out !!"
But hey what a fabulous place is Wicklow, with Lake Tittykaka and the Mountains of the Moop ( Matter out of place)..

What a descent down the Moop Hoop and our pet Limey gets a puncture nearly straight away !! WTF..

then we took in the scenery and the Dawgs marked their territory !!

Total Beginner Ladies Coaching Friday 6th August at 6.00pm

2010-07-31T22:17:00.000+01:00

Hello..
I am running a complete beginner Ladies session on Friday 6th August.
This is for complete beginner ladies of any age group who are only getting in to the sport and want to improve.
I'll go through everything from bike set up to gear and basic skills and take you on a spin suitable to your standard !!
A helmet is compulsory
Gloves recmmended
A bottle or a camelbak,,

I bring a supply of spares but I will answer any questions you might have..

This is not Richie Byrne death spin or gallop around Djouce..its an introduction...
contact me at richie.byrne@gmail.com for details..

Monday 26th Guided Freeride style tour of 3 Rock 6.00pm Lambe Doyles Pub !

2010-07-21T13:35:00.000+01:00

6.00pm at lambe doyles Pub !! Sandyford

What the flip is Freeride..most people haven't a clue, its kind of like Downhill without the pushing and the walking..and XC on a slower , softer bike on a gnarlier track..
4 to 6" of travel is all you need..
a helmet, pads and a sense of adventure needed !!
I have room for 3 more bodies on Monday Evening for a Freeride Spin around 3 Rock !!
email me at richie.byrne@gmail.com

The XC National Champs 2010 In Djouce

2010-07-19T21:21:00.000+01:00

I'll write some stuff later !!

Friday 11th June 5.00 Djouce Woods Sports and beginners XC Coaching

2010-06-07T18:15:00.000+01:00

Hey, if you are a relative newcomer or a even an experienced Sports XC racer, thinking of racing either the upcoming MAD NPS or the XC nationals in Djouce..then book with me now..
i'll make you deadly
5 people maximum to get the best out of the session.

Bike setup
Race Preparation
Equipment
Training
Tactics
richie.byrne@gmail.com

Mountainbiking and Commitment

2010-05-29T20:24:00.000+01:00

Now..
i've a pain in my bollocks with the whole " My wife won't let me ride my mountainbike..!!"
That wrecks my misogynist head..I've been married nearly 20 years..my wife as most of you know is an extremely toelerant woman..shes put up with the motorbikes, the drugs, the drink, the smoking , the chasing the ladyboys and all the other bizarre sports i've indulged my demons in.
Because at the end of the day , we're posessed with Demons..
why else would be chance our arms at 20 foot gap jumps ( yes , i've done a couple, don't ask me to do them now !!) 6 hours endurance spins and for those of you unlucky enough to break shit on their bodies !1
And as we can see from race entries and my own experience, we're all in our 30's and 40's !!
I have grown men asking me..
" Whats the best Jump bike to get..the Dirt in Enniskerry is deadly !!"
I say nothing except arch the eyebrow and think " Muppet !!, they can barely escape the matrimonial dungeon to go for a normal everyday spin and they want to make a show of themselves getting 3" of air on the dirt jumps in Enniskerry !"
Then you have them going " The Dream Track the Dream Track, can we do the dream track !!"
Thinking that people like Cummins,Callaghan and Sheridan just happened to be deadly ..by chance or genetic engineering !!
Lads...its all about Commitment...you think the Wolfe Brothers and Cummins got so supernaturally deadly by just copying the people who went before them..
No they didn't , they got to be deadly by following their own passion, talent and committing to the speed and the risk of injury or death.
They didn't wait around for a video to show them the way or the bike to be made to take them to the next level..they just went out and did it..
The same goes for XC racing..
when you break it down, its all about Blood and Fire..blood in your mouth on the climbs and fire in your heart on the descents!!
I get the usual..which is better XC or DH..
I hate that question..
the answer is neither..but the solution is commitment...do one or the other every freakin day and you will be brilliant and every so often do the other to remind yourself you are not as good as you think you are!!
Just don't walk down or up stuff and don't embrace the chicken runs or the granny ring..they'll just ruin you !
man up , get out of the saddle or jump the jumps..
Commit or be damned..if you do anything else you are just a loser

DH/Freeride Coaching Friday 4th June at 12.00 noon, Cloon wood Wicklow

2010-05-28T22:52:00.000+01:00

Downhill and Freeride Coaching 4th June 2010 in Cloon Woods, Co Wicklow.
For Beginners and Intermediates.
http://www.coillteoutdoors.ie/?id=53&rec_site=17
takes about 3 hours, limited to 5 people.
a decent 4" bike is the minimum but if you have a jump bike you will be ok..
If you have a Full face and pads, bring them and use them.
We can work around the limitations of the bike .
contact me at
richie.byrne@gmail.com for more details.

Coaching

2010-05-26T22:14:00.000+01:00

In my time as a rider i've seen all the greats come and go. From Tomac through Frischnecht, Seymour , mcCall, Palmer, Reid and Peat. All of them have had one thing in common..they are all committed, committed to the sport and to getting the best out of themselves.
I've raced bith Dh and XC over the years as a Master and a Veteran..I was 30 when MTB began, I was there right at the start , before racing even happened in Ireland. As far as I can remember it was way down South , Tipperary or Waterford or one of those exotic locations.
The forst one I attended, and I think it was the 2nd one ever was in Powerscourt and the Raleigh team of Barry Clarke and Caroline Alexander were there.
The first Race i was ever involved in was the first XC race in the Phoenix park when I was the Chairman of MAD.
Then I ran the first ever actual Mtb race on a mountain, it actually went over the summit of Seehan !! it was savage !!
That was 1992..and I ran the first ever DH race in Ireland..on the Great Sugarloaf in Wicklow..and I have tried more than once to remember how the hell we did the timing..
No mobile phones, timing gear or radios !!
then I ran the very first XC nationals in Kilruddery, it was an amazing success..oh yeah..i brought in the categories we use now as well..
I won a lot of races as a Downhiller and an XC racer , i even have a few National Titles..
but I get a bigger kick out of training and guiding people.
And thats where my talents lie. I know what makes a rider good..I know how to make you deadly, regardless of you ability I can help you improve,
Richie Byrne
May 2010

Friday 21st May 3 Rock Guided Spin 6.00pm

2010-05-21T21:31:00.000+01:00

Hey..
back from a one on one guided spin with this really savage lunatic..his second trip with me, and I'm fierce impressed. Some people are just dialled up to 13..its full on or off...
these people either become Champions or die horrible sexy deaths at the wheel of a car or a helicopter full of drugs.
Anyway Dave was bollixed from overdosing on Squash..not miWadi but the indoor tennis game with the weird shuttlecock thing !
So I thought , ah we'll take her handy !!
Up Ticknock via the Forbidden but really deadly trail we went , up the Gully to Toms Sex shop and on up to the masts..
So we headed down T Connector and on to Rock and Rolla..so only ten feet in to it ,Dave gets a puncture..
Of course he has no gear..but thats ok I have everything...
so we get the wheel off and i take the tyre off, Daves impressed that I can do it without tyre levers..
so I threw in a tube and started pumping, when I'm guiding I bring my old Zefal Hp pump.
not a dumbass mini pump , a mans Pump !!
So I'm pumping away and pumping , yakking on about this and that and bang I pumped the damn thing up till it burst !!
ha ha ha..thats ok I have another tube !
No I don't I gave the other one out last week !!

Shit !!

So ..
I took the original punctured tube..tied a knot in it where the snakebite was..
got her back on to the wheel and away we went..
Down Rock n Rolla, back up to The Schiizzle , down it and Romper Schlomper and finish !!
Oh yeah I forgot I straightened his front wheel by whacking it off the ground !!
Nothing stops the Richie Byrne experience !!

Kids Mountainbiking Summer 2010

2010-05-18T13:47:00.000+01:00

Well..seeing as I've completed all the qualifications needed to take Youths on spins and training, i'm going to get it restarted this summer.
So in the next couple of weeks I'll organise a Wednesday introductory session for kids from under 8s upwards. So keep an eye on this Blog and i'll have it organised after this weekend.
The emphasis will be on have the craic and fun, learning to ride your bike like a superstar. All you will need is a bike, your parents permission, a helmet .
Parents are welcome, you might even like it yourselves..in fact I insist that one of the parents get involved if they can.
The first 4 sessions will only be an hour long and we'll use them to sort out the Sprockids by ability..
they will be in Dublin and Wicklow for absolute beginners..and they'll start at 6.00pm
Jumps and Skidding will be optional !

Let me know if you are interested...
Richie
richie.byrne@gmail.com

Friday 21st May Guiding 10.00am Ballinastoe, Co Wicklow

2010-05-17T15:02:00.000+01:00

Friday 21st Ballinastoe Woods Co Wicklow at 10.00am
So you have done Ballinastoe , but have you done it right ? Sign up for Friday 21st May at 10.00 , i'll show you how to really do it !
richie.byrne@gmail.com

Friday 21st May 3 Rock Guided Spin 6.00pm

2010-05-17T13:43:00.000+01:00

This Friday i'm looking for between 4 and 6 people to take on a guided tour of 3 Rock..featuring all the brilliant trails Dublins closest Mountain has to offer.
Not for total beginners but if you have been to Ballinastoe a couple of times you'll be fine.
Contact me at richie.byrne@gmail.com for details.

Friday 14th Guided Spin from Djouce Woods 6.00pm

2010-05-12T21:51:00.000+01:00

6.00pm at lower car park in Djouce. for beginners to intermediates. All the cool singletracks and trails.
Cornering
Bike set up and position
Questions and answers

Tuesday 12th Savage Spin Lambe Doyles to Home via Knockree

2010-05-12T20:26:00.000+01:00

hey..that was a great spin..i wasn't going to go that hard without the Sooper troopers..but Chris had turned up for the first time in ages and he only has one speed..
so off we went till I realised I was all alone at the top of Ticknock Car park..so I eased off and away we went..there was me, Jacksie,Chris ,Ronan,Smithers,adamski,Brendan,Damien..Snakey Lynch had slithered off early !!
So on we went and some stranger had latched on to the gang...who was giving it socks behind us..
We took it handy across the waterbars and then I spotted Snakey Lynch and took off after her..
After we caught up with the old bitch we went along together, Jacksie had suffered a mechanical and Adamski waited to help him..
The dark stranger introduced himself as Joe Jackmans friend Jules..we had a good laugh about the perils of being sent on a Tuesday savage spin and nobody knowing who you are..!!
or why you're chasing after us !!
Anyway up the minibog of death and over to Ravens Rock where we hung out and watched Brendan stumble through the heather like a crazy man..then we watched Snakey Lynch sliding down the trail to Ravens Rock
some craic then down to Bag of Chips were I burped the front Piranha and it resealed as if by magic !!
After the end of Bag of chips we went down the dream mile..
all the old biddys went home and Jack was the only eejit to follow me down Knockree..
I love that descent..
But I should have warned Jacksie that there were a couple of fierce climbs out of that particular hell !!
But we battled on Bravely and only really got caught in the torrential rain at the Scalp..
we were fairly motoring by then..
but by jaysus..i got some soaking heading down Glenamuck Road..
great bunch out though..

XC NPS 3 in Lady Dixon Park Belfast Sund9th May 2010

2010-05-12T20:16:00.000+01:00

Well, once again the XC NPS rolled into Town, Belfast in fact..Now I'm not a fan of Park MTB racing but nobody , not even famed MTB park racers like the IMBRdiddily can run an XC race in a Park like XMTB..they've been around for ages, producing quality riders like Glen Kinning and Robbie Lamont and now young guns Kyle mcewan and Stuart Ballantine.
it was a cracking day out with wins from Joe mcCall in Elites, Paul mcMenamin in Vets, kevin Stanley in Masters, Colm Mullen in Experts and Matt Adair in Juniors.

EPICmtb Beginner Spin 8.5.10 Djouce

2010-05-08T21:03:00.000+01:00

Well that was an eventful Beginner spin in Djouce..I'm not a believer in beginners..i don't like the term, it makes people sound like they are losers or less than you or I. Fucked if I know what to call a newcomer to the sport.
Anybody brave enough to get on an unfamiliar relatively fragile machine and fire themselves down a greasy ,rooty, twisting narrow has to be some sort of Martial artist..so maybe i'll start grading people..
White Belts then..yeah a spin for White belts..to get the white Belt , all you need is a bike, a helmet and make me like you enough to loan you a tube or a powerlink until you get your own..
Then White with a yellow tip..
You have done the few spins and you have all your bits and pieces and know how to use them..
then
Yellow..all the previous of course and you can replace a tube, use a powerlink, replace a broken dropout, etc
Green..all the previous and you can clean the Club Course without dabbing 3 times, plus know what to do if your freehub goes on a spin, repair a buckle and patch a torn tyre.
Oh yeah now we're getting serious
Blue..do the Tuesday training Loop without dabbing in 2 hours, know how to bleed your discs and replace all your cables, replace a BB and a headset.
Purple...
The Wicklow way to Ballinastoe, all 3 laps of the Club Course in under 15 minute a lap. replace and seat tubeless tyres with a Track pump, lead a group of 10 successfully along the Tuesday training route
Brown..THe Wicklow way to Laragh, All the jumps in Cloon, Clean the Ewoks, top 10 in an NPS
Brown with Black tip..under 14.oo Laps, WW to Glenmalure, Top 3 in NPS, REC Course, Handsome in Lycra, Dashing in Baggies !
Black...well I can't divulge that, you have to get this far !!

Club race rnd 3

2010-05-07T22:13:00.000+01:00

Heres a little video of the EPIC Club League race rnd 3 ..what can you say about the EPIC club Course. Its just so freakin cool !! Blem blem ...zipp zip whoop
http://vimeo.com/11558531

Djouce in the Sunshine

2010-05-06T15:18:00.001+01:00

Heres a video of Djouce, County Wicklow last Monday in the lovely sunshine..forgive the speed..I was wrecked from 7 days in a row biking and way too much cheap wine of an evening !
http://vimeo.com/11523752

Tuesday training spin Lambe Doyles to Annacrivey via the Wicklow Way 4.5.10

2010-05-04T21:23:00.000+01:00

Tonights training group of EPIC savages left lambe Doyles pub and up we went via Ticknock Road and up through Ticknock !..Pace was hot enough set by Superstar riders Wallace and Wojnar !!
The skinny feckers!!
Anyway up by Toms sex shop and back on to the Tarmac because I'm still waiting on that lazy fecker Kilkenny to clear the old track under Rob Davis' decking ...if you are reading this Fergal, get your finger out !
Anyway across kilmashogue and on to the trail I have renamed The Fairies arse because of all the cracks in it !
Away myself and the two Superstar Brats we went down the Woca Wocas at warp speed and on to the Glencullen road..Then I put my Coach Hat on and fired the Superstars off up the road..then Baggies O'Damien came along and I shouted at him to get the lead out
then I kicked the two old lads Micky and Eoin up the arse and sent them on their way, this only left Kevin, Shona and Dave Dave..I gave them a good kicking because they were indulging in some sort of twisted Menage a trois !!
so up the Fireroad and onto the Mini Bog of death where the two Goobers abandoned Shona and left her to my whip cracking !!
Over to Ravens Rock and down Bag of Chips..there was a lot of screaming from my 3 babies and eventually we hit the road and home, well I went over the Leadmines and had a fantabulous Blast along the dusty trails there !!
Until next time suckers ..I hope Coronation Street was good !!
Heres the Garmin route jobbie ..
http://connect.garmin.com/activity/32276396

Beginners Coaching Friday 7th May at 6.00pm Ballinastoe Woods ,County Wicklow

2010-05-04T15:57:00.000+01:00

I am running a beginners/improvers session in Ballinastoe on Friday 7th May at 6.00pm
Space is limited to 8 people so book now and reserve your place.
I will run through everything from Bike set up to Equipment and mastering basic skills. Then take a spin on the trail and look at the various challenges it has
Contact me at richie.byrne@gmail.com

Djouce Monday 3rd May

2010-05-03T21:49:00.000+01:00

Well you know its summer in Ireland, everything is frickin greasy with the poxy rain.
Even though I had the dead legs on me from yesterdays savagery, i met up with legendary mtbers Ross McClure, Damian Mulchrone and Luke Smaul for an hour and a half of POW!!!! in Djouce.
We went up past XTC and on to my loop of pain..down LSD, XTC, and we had to stop so Lugash could stick some air in to his rear tyre..the fat posh hole on him was steadily forcing the air out of his back tyre !!
Anyway on we went to to bulldog and down and across , up Gwangi and cross to Brocks. down this and on to Toro, where we skipped down on to the fire road and Gran Canaria..
Damo twisted it a bit by bringing us down on to Sliddery riddery and on to the Earls drive.
Up the Earls and on to He red road across that and on to the bottom of Ack and on to the savage climb up by the fence.
It took all of my resolve and an substantial amount of Lactic Acid tolerance to show the young lads what I was made of on this !!
Over to the Best descent , where Ross did a Superman over the edge and we all had a laugh and continued along , watching the great Mulchronie go over the bars ..down Disco Stu ..where i watched Rossconi flip over at least twice.
Over to Toro again, Gwangi, Lime Juicer ,Fartknocker and back to the cars..finishing off with Magnums in the Texaco in Enniskerry,
Garmin time
http://connect.garmin.com/activity/32276402

Saturday Coaching 1st May 2010

2010-05-01T21:43:00.000+01:00

Saturday 1st of May saw me bring 5 proto savages around Djouce , people are mistaken that Ballinastoe is the best place to bring beginners or even to get a good feel for Mountainbiking, its not really.
Djouce is excellent for it as it has tons of handbuilt trails and you can go from the sublime to the ridiculous in a few pedal strokes.
Anyways, all the guys were brilliant which is rewarding as a guide/coach because I had a good spin around with them and i could see improvement all the way through.
someday they will be as good as this lad !